Every once in a while you are reminded of something you used to do when younger and then you stop to ponder why did you quit doing it. Did you grow out of the habit? Or did you just forget all about it? I have reached that juncture in my life when there are many things that make me nostalgic and it shocks me how much I have changed and adapted to the new happenings around me. I have taken on new roles and have become more of a shape-shifter to suit the situation...and in the process, I have lost focus of who I really am!
I'm sure you do go about changing hats too..you try to be a good parent, good sibling, good spouse and never have the opportunity to be the carefree person you were when you did not have to fit into either of these hats. Living for just yourself sounds so selfish but you do envy the people who do exactly that :p Bearing the brunt of all the added responsibilities is a tall order but one way or the other you have to summon all your strength to become the mature adult that you are expected to! That is the trouble of shifting into adulthood....
When you are a small child you dream of becoming as big as the adults around you and think that will be the true fun of life. You hate the books you have to study and despise the puny toys you get to play with. You think your big brother gets the best of everything just because he's older than you. Being taller seems to be the only way to compete with the adults. You wanna drive cars and enjoy all the big things. But then you do not know these things come with the heavy pricetag of responsibility. You never notice how your dad holds his head in frustration when he pays the bills. You never realize how hard your mother has to work the whole day to keep the household together. You never feel the pressure of your elder siblings at dealing with burdens of studying and adjusting within the society. That really is the time of your life, when everything is so simple and there's nothing to fret about besides a broken toy or hurt knee. There's always the hope of daddy getting you a new toy or getting mommy to kiss your tears away. But what do you do when mommy and daddy are no longer there to walk you through life...and when you have to step in their shoes and be the tower of strength that they used to be for you? Changing that hat is the toughest one....
